the other one

para sa’yo

seventeenthwitch — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:55:43 +0000

it has been said that everything changes when you fall in love, and i think it was plain bullshit. but i was dumbfounded. complete 360 degrees turn.

you make me happy, first and foremost. every day of my life, i have been looking forward to a glimpse of you along the corridors. a single SMS can make my heart go whooping for joy. yeah, i learned “kilig”.

tulala at nakangiti.

sayo ko lang natutunan ang magparaya – nalaman ko na hindi sa lahat ng oras ay ako ang masusunod. hindi sa lahat ng oras ay ako ang tama. natuto akong makinig, sumunod. naranasan ko ang alagaan, pagsabihan, awayin. kumontra ako, tulad ng pagsagot-sagot ko sa nanay at tatay dati, pero nakinig ka din sa akin. hindi mo sinasabayan ang topak ko. hanga ako sa pasensya mo dahil nagagawa mong intindihin ang immaturity ko. sa lahat ng mga naging issues natin, karamihan ay sinimulan ko lang dahil miss kita. natuto ako na magbaba ng pride – sa’tin ko napatunayan na mahina pala ako. na hindi ko kaya ang mag-isa, hindi tulad ng ginawa ko sa buhay ko dati. naranasan ko ang hanapin ka, ang kailanganin ka sa mga simpleng bagay, ang gustuhin na makausap o makita ka kasi hindi nakukumpleto ang araw ko unless otherwise. nalaman ko na lahat ng tao ay kailangan maghintay – mula sa pila sa counter ng canteen hanggang sa pagpapakilala sa magulang o pagpunta sa bahay. nakilala ko further ang sarili ko – may pasensya ako ngunit sa’yo lamang. madali akong mainip sa ibang bagay; nang-aaway ako kapag nahuhuli ng dating ang inorder kong pagkain or kapag hindi ako makaregister sa isang service sa celfone ko. pero sa’yo, kinakaya ko intindihin at pagpasensyahan ang lahat ng pangyayari at sitwasyon – kasi alam ko na ayaw mo din naman ng mga yon. kasi alam ko na kapag nagpumiglas ako para mangyari ang gusto ko, may masasaktan, may mahihirapan, may masisira. in my life, i have never made such decisions that can be life changing. pero with you, i was able to do so. my life has been the ultimate testimony to the saying that the greatest objective of mankind is self happiness. yeah, i’d rather die happy than right. mas pinili ko maging masaya kesa maging tama, kasi minsan lang naman tayo dadaan dito. lubus-lubusin na natin habang nasa panig pa natin ang panahon. it hurts me, and i know it will hurt you too, pero ayaw kong isipin na dadating din ang panahon that the universe will conspire against us. natatakot ako kapag sobrang saya natin, kasi malamang ang kasunod ay isang matindihang problema.

in my 24 years of life, ngayon ko lang siguro naramdaman na may sense pala yung existence ko. that i am needed by somebody, that i can affect the life of another. nakakatuwang isipin na may nagmamahal sayo, which i honestly love in return din. nung simula, we both agreed that we have to be spontaneous. pero ngayon, natututo na tayong magplano, mula sa pagkain, pupuntahan, bahay, future. nakakatuwa, nakakaiyak, nakakatakot.

magdasal tayo. na sana magtagal pa ang lahat. na sana maintindihan tayo ng mga minamahal natin sa buhay. na sana maintindihan natin ang isa’t isa.

hinihintay ko ang panahon na sabay tayong pupunta sa likod-bahay mo para tumingin sa stars. at alam ko, pareho tayong mapapanatag pag nakita natin sila.

bad vibes

seventeenthwitch — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 07:30:37 +0000

it’s quite tiresome to resolve the recurring differences. even the simplest things have been brought to extremes just because you can’t go along with each other – lest agree on the same thing. the stress has been quite awful, and the flaring hormones don’t help at all. yeah, and thanks so much, you can’t really rant to your friend about it. nobody knows, so nobody cares.

i love lonely nights. and empty words.

slowly.

seventeenthwitch — Sun, 09 Oct 2011 08:06:35 +0000

i’ve felt the difference. i don’t know if im just a bit sensitive or something really has change. i dont like it when u arrive, and then just sit there, without even touching me or pecking on the cheek. something has changed, i dont know what is it. maybe you’ve grown tired of the usual fast food hang out on fridays. or maybe, you’ve just grown tired.

maybe we need some rest.

HBD. [her blinding dream]

seventeenthwitch — Thu, 22 Sep 2011 02:30:04 +0000

the irony of life begins with this: people are happy when they hear you cry the moment you came around from your mother’s womb. in fact, your crying proved the sign of life. it’s funny because when you grow up, crying doesn’t make other people happy anymore.

—–
i have been thinking of how to celebrate my birthday this 2011. it’s one of my favorite days of the year; for once, it’s my own special day. i can have a vacation from work, or maybe splurge on some caloric pasta and pizza without worrying how much fat will incur in my body. for several years, i have been celebrating my birthdays with inevitable circumstances that made me forget i am supposed to feel extra special. on my 18th year, i have no parties or whatsoever; i was sitting in a room with the ceiling fan roaring on top of the buzzing lights. i am taking my final exams for the 1st semester. after that, i went home exhausted and maybe fell asleep after a few minutes in bed. during my 5th year in college, my grandfather died on my birthday and i wasn’t able to visit his wake because i was busy with my thesis; defense will come on the 12th. i only experienced having a party on my 7th year, but on this day my whole family had the case of sore eyes. talk about enjoyment.

so far my favorite birthdays, life-to-date, have been my 19th and 23rd birthdays. on 2006, two of my friends accompanied me all the way to batangas (we were at QC that time) to eat and have tour at my place. we have a car, and they were extremely fascinated with Tagaytay’s panoramic view least the long and winding road to home. my mother prepared some local food which they gladly devour and we went to my favorite places in Taal. sadly, i have parted ways with these two dear friends; people always leave, as Payton Sawyer says.
topping my experience however was last year’s. need not to say, i was at my happiest when i was able to visit the ocean park, got to see a good movie and even bought some books. dinner in tagaytay was a mild surprise. by the end of the day, i knew this one was extra special.

this 2011, my birthday falls on a weekday. on the not so good news, the month is the preparation of the Revised Forecasts, so im expecting several stressful days and maybe a few overtime hours. maybe i can go on a solitary trip to Alabang on the 11th. there should be a good movie, however.

cold.

seventeenthwitch — Sat, 10 Sep 2011 16:18:10 +0000

the feeling when the body reacts to a low temperature environment.

the feeling when there is no warmth at all.

bwisit lang.

seventeenthwitch — Wed, 31 Aug 2011 10:51:33 +0000

bwisit lang tong araw na to. given the fact that the day started quite right. kuya tricycle driver even greeted me good morning, which is highly unusual.

for some reasons, i have stopped looking forward to reporting for work. mainly because i have a good boss whom has mysteriously been transferring his workload to us his servants. jeez, we wonder what he’s up to. we are so very thankful that our reports have been reaching the high lords of the company, who barely knew that our boss has really nothing to do with the numbers. our time has been consumed with all the bullsh*t simulations for his consumption. and what do we get in return? nothing. i have been thinking of reporting these incidences to the human resources. but they’re about as BS as his. oh well. what do you expect from a multi-national company.

so my boss has successfully ruined my day. topping the list however was a major BS from the “other” department who can’t seem to move on their own. of course, our group has been designed to do practically nothing for the whole day. so any simulations, or even your own breathing, we can do them for you. what the hell is wrong with this world? do these people lost their brains or something??

yeah. maybe i should start f*ckin smoking again.

test of time

seventeenthwitch — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 05:38:37 +0000

it’s been a while since we last hang out for quite a while. the last “date” we had was a mere 1-hour on a fast food joint near the bus stop: so i can easily get a ride home; so you can get the on-the-dot shuttle to office. i admit that it has been a struggle when we weren’t coming and leaving the office together. and it saddens me that our times side by side has indeed lessen. inevitable circumstances, i just hate you so much.

apparently, i didn’t enjoy my long weekend compared to my friends who have been out of town, or rather went wakeboarding at Calatagan. i mostly snored my ass off and watched the TV, not even bothering to read a single page from the book i longingly wanted several weeks before. it disheartens me, that we both are struggling to keep this up, even most of the time we haven’t seen each other, talking thru SMS more than phone calls. i am sleeping when you work; i work while you were sleeping. it was hard, as much i wanted to curse the situation, i couldn’t. as much as i wanted to be beside, maybe just watch you sleep, i couldn’t. as much as i want to be there for you everytime, i couldn’t. and i know that you have been thinking about the same way for me too. and i also know that you couldn’t.

2 weeks down. several more to go……

the one.

seventeenthwitch — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 05:50:35 +0000

I saw you dancing out the ocean
Running fast along the sand
A spirit born of earth and water
Fire flying from your hands

In the instant that you love someone
In the second that the hammer hits
Reality runs up your spine
And the pieces finally fit

And all I ever needed was the one
Like freedom fields where wild horses run
When stars collide like you and I
No shadows block the sun
You’re all I’ve ever needed
Baby you’re the one

There are caravans we follow
Drunken nights in dark hotels
When chances breathe between the silence
Where sex and love no longer gel

For each man in his time is Cain
Until he walks along the beach
And sees his future in the water
A long lost heart within his reach

for my wedding.

seventeenthwitch — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 05:48:46 +0000

For my wedding, I will dress in black
And never again will I look back
Ah, my dark angels we must part
For I’ve made a sanctuary of my heart

To want what I have
To take what I’m given with grace
For this I pray
On my wedding day

For my wedding, I don’t want violins
Or sentimental songs about thick and thin
I want a moment of silence and a moment of prayer
For the love we’ll need to make it in the world out there

To want what I have
To take what I’m given with grace
For this I pray
On my wedding day
On my wedding day

I dream, and my dreams are all glory and light
That’s what I’ve wanted for my life
And if it hasn’t always been that way
Well, I can dream and I can pray
On my wedding day

So what makes us any different from all the others
Who have tried and failed before us
Maybe nothing, maybe nothing at all
But I pray we’re the lucky ones; I pray we never fall

To want what we have
To take what we’re given with grace
For these things I pray
On my wedding day
On my wedding day

i sing.

seventeenthwitch — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 05:46:05 +0000

You ask me what I want.
You ask me what I need.
It’s nothing you can buy.
My heart’s not ruled by greed.
I don’t love a diamond.
Diamond’s you see through.
I want you to hold me.
I want you to be true.

Give me the gift of love.
Look me in the eyes.
Say I’m the one you’re dreamin’ of.
That’d be the best surprise.
Give me the gift of your sweet love
in the light of the day,
in the dark of night.

Like the colors of the sun,
the feelings in your heart.
It’s all I want from you.
And when the sky is dark
I’ll have you beside me.
Who could ask for more?
I’ll just wear a smile
when you walk in the door.

Give me the gift of love.
Look me in the eyes.
Say I’m the one.
That’d be the best surprise.
Give me the gift of your sweet love
in the light of the day,
in the dark of night.
Always. Oooooh.